The horror of the Grannie Panties


The horror of the Grannie Panties

After a few weeks of being on-line, I finally had a date.  This would be my first date in 25 years.  His name was Pete.  I was a nervous wreck.  My 23 year old daughter, Anne, stopped by to help me get dressed.  It was a beautiful summer day.  I had selected a pair of skinny blue jeans, and a cute top, and sandals.    I had my make-up on, and I stepped out of my bathroom to  get the final seal of approval.  I gave her a dramatic 360 degree turn.

“How do I look?”

Anne exclaims, “Mom, what kind of underwear are you wearing?”

I am confused “The jockey underwear I usually wear.”  “Why?”

“OMG, Mom, you have panty lines.”

I am nonplussed  “The guy does not care about panty lines.”

“OMG”   Anne is immediately calling  her younger sister Leigh.  “Leigh, we have a situation.  Mom is wearing her Grannie panties on a date.”

Leigh “OMG – you can’t let her go looking like that.”

I am still nonplussed  “Guys my age don’t care about that.”

Both girls together  “YES THEY DO!”

I had a choice, I could go commando or wear the Grannie pants and face the horror show of panty lines.  I chose the latter.  While, I thought the date went well, Pete did not give me a second chance.  The girls were convinced it was all about the Grannie pants.  They marched me straight over to Victoria Secret and lined me up with some modern day “no panty line” panties.

I still liked my cotton Jockey’s, and wore them when they were not looking.  They finally had an intervention in which they raided my panty drawer and confiscated the jockey’s.

In their defense, I got a second date.

Dating – Ground Zero

pexels-photo-253905.jpegThe day after I had my first baby, a friend asked me “when are you going to have another?”  As I sat on my ice pack , still sore from delivery, I thought … “are you kidding me? ”  So it should have come as no surprise that friends and family were on me from the day the ink was dry on my divorce — “are you dating anyone” – and my continual reply “no”.   Just as I was recovering from my sore bottom after childbirth, I had to recover from the pain of divorce.  I wasn’t ready for another relationship, and I could not get my arms around the idea of being with another guy.  So after my two year hiatus, I finally decided I was ready or so I thought.  The big day finally arrived.  I gathered two girlfriends, and took some photos, and we sat down together, armed with wine to launch me into the wide world of on-line dating.

As I hit the launch button, we sat together hopeful as we waited for Mr. Right to immediately appear.  Wow, was I in for a shock.  Despite setting up parameters for matches, I was receiving inquiries from 25  to 75 year old men.  None of them tall, dark, handsome or successful.  It was overwhelming.    I did not realize I needed a manual to navigate this.  After a few days of trying without one, my daughter asked me how it was going.  I told her that I was “freaked out”  by emails asking me out.  She calmly said, “Mom, let me see if I got this right, you are on a dating site and you are freaked out because guys are asking you out?”  That was ground zero.

Love.Grow.Life (LGL)

When life hands you lemons, you have to make lemonade — at least that’s how easy it sounds.  Learning to be open to love, loving myself, obtaining personal growth, and  fully living life again are conscience thoughts I repeat to myself each day…Love, Grow, Life.   It’s taped on my wall.  It only took 3 years of therapy to get to this.  I know that seems ridiculous as it should have been apparent from day 1, but, as the saying goes “when you are in the forest, you can’t always see the trees.”pexels-photo-460554.jpeg  I want to share my journey so that I might inspire or console others who may be on a similar journey.  I hope you feel a friendship with Lucy.